Forgive For Your Own Sake

Does someone bully you into doing something  for her … just because.  She may think  that as a new employee you have to kowtow to her so you become buddies. 

There is this co-worker who having learned that I am a Filipina,  asked if I know of the dish, “pansit”.  Of course I do, it's almost every Filipino's favorite dish.  In every Filipino party, pansit is a necessary dish.  Pansit Canton, during birthdays for long life, pansit bihon in most parties because everyone love pansit bihon, and yes, pansit bihon with canton to double the fun. 

Pansit Bihon

Pansit Canton

People think I am a good cook.  I am swamped with requests to cook: one requested me to cook Mexican Jambalaya as the aroma of the jambalaya from my lunch box got him curious;  another requested me to make lumpia, as he had tasted some from a Filipino friend, one requested pork barbecue Philippine style,  etc. Before this pansit request, one co-worker requested me to cook adobo for him.  Adobo is another favorite Filipino dish, consisting of pork and/or chicken boiled in water, soy sauce, vinegar and lots of garlic and onions.  The way you cook it and adding some secret ingredients would determine how good a cook you are.  I cooked adobo for him, which he shared with his son, and they were so pleased, to say the least.  He told everyone how good a cook I am.   

I don't have the time to cook for other people, and even if I have time to cook for one, others will feel bad if I chose one and not them. That’s lots of trouble for me as I have not much time.   I need time to catch up with my blogging,  to finish my Photoshop projects, help a friend in need to run errands to government offices, etc., etc.  I can't even find time to enjoy jazz at the bars with the hubby!   I said no to cooking requests.  I have to have time for Me. 

Pansit Bihon with Canton

Back to my co worker.  Having expressed that she loves pansit, she’d like me to cook for her.  I have no problem to cooking it, it’s just that aside from not having enough time,  I avoid cooking any kind of  pansit, because once I start eating pansit, I could not stop until I feel like bursting.  I am trying to lose weight, and pansit has lots of carbs.   

This co-worker who requested for pansit started to bully me.  She ridiculed me when I made a mistake, being a relatively new employee.  She would not answer my straight questions, instead she mocked and made fun of me.  Whenever I am near a glass door, she would knock at it, sounding like she would destroy the door.  She would announce to everyone that I have yet to make pansit for her, and why can’t I do it yet! I got tired of saying I don't cook for others.   I am the quiet, friendly retiring type, and I don’t like confrontation.  BUT, I will not be bullied into doing anything.  

The co-worker’s bullying  had been going on for  almost a year now.  I chose not to react, pretended I did not hear her, etc., until  two days ago.  She was at it again, asked me for pansit, as if I owe it to her.   I looked at her, went close to her and started swinging my arms in front of her,  and  did it to her sides too.   I did not touch her, but my proximity invaded her personal space.  She was puzzled, waited for my next move.  I looked at her in the eye, sort of challenged her to make a move.  She turned  away.  The moment of my rage went away.  Everything and everyone looked normal to me once again, and we  worked as usual. I don’t know why,  but in a moment of guilt (for invading her personal space) and magnanimity, I reached inside my pocket where I had a stash of caramel candies, took two and handed them to her.  She looked at me questioningly, took the candies, murmured her thanks.  That felt good to me. All those times when I ignored her or was angry with her were forgiven.  It was like a burden was lifted off me.  I felt so light and happy.  Every day I pray the Lord’s Prayer, asking to be forgiven,   as we “forgive those who sinned against us” … and at that moment  my prayer was answered.  

 

"Jonathan Lockwood Huie perfectly says it: "Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace." … You do not forgive others because they deserve it, but you forgive them for your own sake."

Nope, I will not cook for her unless I choose to.  I will not be bullied, but I have forgiven.  

Have you forgiven those who have “sinned” against you?  What would it take to get that burden of anger off you?  Or do you need to be forgiven, and what would it take to get that burden of guilt off you?  

Photo Credits:
http://nhymbe.net/pancit-bihon-canton-guisado/
http://iloilofoodtrip.blogspot.com/2015/02/pancit-guisado.html

http://toppinoyfood.blogspot.com/2012/09/pancit-bihon-guisado.html

Quote from:

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/forgiving-others-sake
http://www.beliefnet.com/prayers/catholic/childrens-prayers/the-lords-prayer.aspx