Idiomatic Expressions, PC Lingo, Chat and Texts Language, Emoticons, etc.

What can be harder than having discussion with your husband about the trip to Snake Island when distractingly he says, "I'd throw in the towel on this manuscript, I can't smooth out the rough apples.   That rhymed fine, but it's painful.  For one, we have only two brand new  fluffy pastel towels.  All the rest are fluffy and stained pastel towels.  Blame that on my hair's henna wax treatment. I have completely forgotten the Fuji apples, tsk tsk, I hope they have not rotten yet. 

Okay, okay. Now you can surmise  my husband is an alien I am an alien.   Do you speak American?  I do, I also speak Filipino or Tagalog, and Ilonggo too, and some sprinkling of French, Spanish and Arabic.  Don't we all do?  But do we all understand the  idiomatic expressions devised by  the native speakers so  it would be easier to spot the aliens aside from spying them beamed up to their mother ship.  To make life harder now,  we also have PC lingo, chat and cell phone texts language and computer speak (did I  invent that term).

I compiled a few idiomatic expressions and used them in a sentence:

A1 - if something is A1, it is the very best or the finest.
Wife after receiving her monthly allowance from husband: "Sweetheart, your A1".
In a street in Saudi Arabia:  "Filipina, you're number 1", the man in Thob inside a Porsche car shouted. 
Beat a dead horse - to engage in pointless and repetitive discussion
"The camel's dead, do you think it would come back to life if we beat a dead horse?",  the Bedouin  asked his wife. 
Crash - to go to sleep 
My computer crashed, I might as well crash too.
Over the hill - to be past (your) the prime
These steaks  are over the hill, my husbands been aging then for a week now.  
Rub someone in the wrong way - to annoy someone
Rob my neighbor, rib my enemy, you don't rub me in the wrong way, ever.
Age before beauty -  this idiom is used in a way of allowing an older person to do something first, though often in a slightly sarcastic way.
Hey, don't look at me. 

PC Lingo
Elvis year - the peak of something's popularity
My husband's Elvis year is when he married me, ahem.

Plug-and-Play - a new hire who does not need any training.
A newly married guy is boasting to his friend, "My wife is plug-and-play, she does not need any training in bed.
Under mouse arrest - getting busted for violating an online service's rules of conduct.
Shit, my Farm Town is under mouse arrest, somebody must have clicked Report Abuse.
Cobweb site - a site that has not been updated for a long time, a dead web page.
I am updating, alright, don't call my blog a cobweb site yet, huhuhu.
404 - someone's who's clueless, from the Worldwide Web message, "404, URL not found", meaning that the document you've tried to access can't be found.
Don't ask me for more PC lingo, I am a 404 girl.

Chat Speak/ Cell Phone Text Codes 
Here are some of them: 
AAK - Alive And Kicking
ADN - Any Day Now

AFAIK - As Far As I Know
AFK - Away From the Keyboard
BCNU - I'll Be seeing You  
BWL - Bursting with Laughter
BBL - Be Back Later
BBS - Be Back Soon
BFN - Bye for Now
BTW - By the Way 
btw -   between you and me
CID - Crying in  Disgrace
CRS - Can't Remember Sh** 
CYA - See you
EG -    Evil Grin 
EOT - end of thread, meaning End of discussion
FWIW - For What it's Worth
GMTA - Great Minds Think Alike
HB - Hurry Back 
HHIS - Hanging Head in Shame
IGP - I Gotta Pee
IMCO - In My Considered Opinion 
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IRL - In Real Life
JAS - Just A Second
JK - Just Kidding
KIT - Keep in Touch
PITA - Pain In The Ass
PPL -   People
TYT - Take Your time
WTH - What The Heck, or substitute H with F
YR - Yeah Right (sarcastic)
YW - You're Welcome

Emoticons
:-|      Ambivalent
o:-)   Angelic
>:-(   Angry
:-[{}  Blowing a Kiss
\-o    Bored
:( )    Can't Stop Talking
:'      Crying
:"-)   Crying with Joy
:-*     Drunk 
{{{name}}} Cyber hug
{{{{{{name}}}}}} Warm Cyber Hug
{{ }}:**   Hugs and Kisses
:-#     Lips are Sealed
:~/     Mixed up
:-\      Undecided
  
Lastly, here's a cool way to have your computer  speak to you, worship you or make it tell you just about everything you like :)

This a super nice feature of Windows that can be abused so that you can make your computer talk or speak whatever you tell it! This method takes advantage of a built-in API installed on most Windows XP machines called SAPI (Speech Application Programming Interface). The Microsoft Speech API is what is used for the Narrative accessibility feature built into Windows. You can also write programs that call the API, which would allow you to let your applications speak. But making your computer say what you want is pretty easy actually! Here’s how you do it: Step 1: Open Notepad and paste the following text into a new document: Dim message, sapi message=InputBox(”Enter the text you want spoken”,”Speak This”) Set sapi=CreateObject(”sapi.spvoice”) sapi.Speak message  After copying and pasting the above, go back and retype all the quotation marks, as they don't save right.   Now when you go to save the file, give it any name, but make sure you also type .VBS after the name. Also, for the Save as type box, choose All files instead of the default Text Documents. Now double-click on the VBS file and you should see a input box where you can type in the text you want spoken! Go ahead and type something and click OK. That’s it! Your computer will speak to you in the default voice.  Some find the voice scary, some find it seductive.  I like it when it tells me, "Rich and famous Malou, I am giving you a million dollars to dine with me."  It even pronounced my name right!  What about yours?    If you did not understand  the above instructions above, go here: 

http://www.online-tech-tips.com/fun-stuff/make-your-computer-talkspeak-what-you-type/

Do you have new text/chat codes or emoticons to add?