Letter to the Persons That I Want to Tell Everything To

Dear Neighbors and Friends,

Recently there is a war of words between two women most of us know.  I am so tempted to join in, to referee, to shed light, to admonish, to advise, etc.  Nobody asked me to,  nobody asked my opinion, so why join the fracas and take side.  And, as always there are different sides to the problem. An older wife who is cancer-stricken is spreading news about a scandalous affair between her husband and her young friend, and the young friend is retaliating  by telling her friends online that the older wife/friend's soul is burning in hell  even while she's alive for spreading nasty lies about her.

 Image from http://artfreebiesarchives.blogspot.com/2010/07/women.html 

I think this is how the whole thing started:
Older woman, let's call her A,  and young wife, let's call her E,  are neighbors like most of us are - neighbors and friends.  Older woman A had recuperated from cancer and was happy that she survived.   Alas, she learned that a good friend and neighbor, E,  flirts with her live-in partner R, non-stop.  She got upset and her cancer cells became active again and this time, more vicious and had spread to her brains too.  Three doctors gave her an approximate life span of one more month!  She's dying, OMG.  To get back to E, A revealed to everyone the alleged affair of her friend E and her live-in partner R.  Everyone is so sympathetic with A and now looks at E in a different light.  E is young, pretty and dresses sexy!  She makes 'meaningful' eye contact a lot - to young and old, to neighbors, to friends, to strangers - in fact to every man she meets - in a bar, in restaurant, inside the bus, jeepneys, department stores, etc.  In her own words, she was testing if they still had  'asim'  (if they would respond to her flirty moves)  and she found it cute that these men responded  to her ummm,....charm.  She may deny this and may say that she's just being her natural vivacious self.  Also, some people see her all dressed up, wear overpowering perfume,  and went out by herself  when her husband, S,  was out of the country.

Whether A's accusations are true or not, we can not verify, for who knows what happens inside closed doors of our neighbors and friends.  We tend to judge appearances and actions.  We see a young wife making googoo eyes with another man and we ask ourselves why she's behaving like an unmarried young woman;  and why she's hitting on our husband, our boyfriend, other neighbors, even strangers.   We see a young wife online (chatting in cyberspace) almost every night until dawn and we wonder what's the husband's take on this.
Do we learn a lesson or two from this scenario?  Why not.

1.  Wives, be faithful to your husbands.  Being faithful not only means not going to bed with another man.  It also means not fantasizing to be with another man, not sending love letters or exchanging romantic texts messages with another man, or not chatting and having an online boyfriend!.

2.  Wives, flirt (must you?) with discrimination, and discreetly.  If you are unhappy with your marriage or if you think that you have yet to meet your Mr. Right (obviously you don't think your husband is the Mr. Right), don't look for Mr. Right in your neighborhood,  or don't hit on your friends' husbands or partners, ewwww.

3. Husband, love your wife.  Loving not only means making love to her, it also means putting her in her place - becoming a real wife to you.   Discourage her from  flirting with every man in the neighborhood and to every male she meets everywhere you go.  Don't allow her to drift away from you by condoning her to look for male  'friends' online.  You know who her old male friends (classmates and town mates)  and newly found 'online friends', do you?   

4.  Let's be kind to each other.  We should not tell anyone who is being treated with chemotherapy that she's already burning in hell.  Instead let's pray for her fast and complete recovery.

Postscript:
Older woman A died after 2 years, survived by her four young children from her ex husband (not from R, the live-in partner).  A year before that, her live-in partner R left her. He could not afford her chemotherapy and medicines, he reasoned.  He left the neighborhood.  When A was dying, her children contacted live-in partner R who did his best to help financially, which was not much.  He did not visit her at all when she was dying, and even after her death, did not visit her family, her grave, etc.   Young wife E was unrepentant and continues to live like a "celebrity", announcing regularly in social media how she loves her hubby.